The plan for this tour was to travel as many miles as possible, do the show to as many people as possible, and to camp everywhere - just adds to the sense of adventure. We camped in Kingsbridge, found a lovely little secluded campsite, spent 28 minutes putting up the £12 Asda Value tent we'd purchased two nights before, and had enough to drink for it to be an barable. But it rained, a lot, and my head got very wet during the night. We both woke up in a terrible mood, I managed to get the internet on my phone and booked up loads of hotels for the rest of the run. I'm sorry, budget, but these things have to be done. Well done, nature, you win yet again.
Tired, the short trip up to Newquay took much longer than needed, and after quickly saying hello the owners of our venue for the evening, we enjoyed having somewhere to sleep that actually had a stable roof and crashed out for a couple hours. We then returned to the wonderful Cafe Irie for the evening's show. A small but bright and friendly cafe, we were performing upstairs in a room surrounded by lots of arty things, we felt very comfortable from the start and the hospitality of the guys running it meant a lot to us. A busy room for the second performance, everyone laughed at the right times, and like Kingsbridge - as soon as the show was over I was in discussions to bring the new show to Newquay in November, I just really felt good about this one. Our surfers lodge accommodation was conveniently next to a Weatherspoons so we enjoyed some drinks and food, with a real sense that the tour was already moving in the right direction.
On the Tuesday we started to make our way up the country to Guildford. This shouldn't have been a 7 hour drive, but it was - because of rush hour, roads and all that. We left in such good time, ended up only being at the venue with half an hour to spare. Bar Des Arts felt more like a conventional venue, they were used to theatre and acts in their space, as a result I felt slightly nervy about this one. With limited ticket sales beforehand I had my doubts, but - yet again - plenty of people turned up and they just looked like they wanted to enjoy it. I was a bit rambly at first but when I slowed it down it became a very enjoyable experience, I was actually starting to enjoy myself on stage. 3 days in, the lines felt more comfortable, performances feeling more assured, a really good night that one. Great also to catch up with my old friend Helen, who I haven't seen for years and don't speak to as much as I should do - Guildford isn't far away at all, I shall attempt to be a better friend in the future. 3 shows in - show going suspiciously well. We were staying at a hotel near Gatwick, an hour or so's drive from the venue, on the way there my car started making a few strange noises, so we stopped off for a Burger King and it seemed to be fine after that. Hardly a great night's sleep - I feel bad for saying this, but I strongly advise you don't stay at the Russ Hill Hotel, it is an awful place. Checkout was supposed to be midday, but when the cleaners keep bursting in at 9am, several times, followed by the smoke alarm going off, it's not a great place to rest. Didn't help either that the TV went off whilst we were watching a film on BBC 1, and when we switched it back on all we had was porn. It just makes you feel uncomfortable. When you're on the road, travelling hundreds of miles each day before doing a show for an hour on stage, you need sleep - no chance of it in that place.
Anyway, Wednesday morning we left early (not intentionally, see the above) and made the short trip up to the peaceful Great Massingham for that evening's performance. We got there so early we had lots of time to kill, but that's fine - the weather was nice, the ducks are in the pond, plenty of time to peacefully look over the (somewhat excessive and wordy) script to see which bits of my own words I'd been forgetting each night. Quite a lot of them, so it seems, but I'd replaced them with other words, and we were getting through it just fine. Great Massingham was another show I was slightly apprehensive about - because I knew how much the locals were looking forward to this one. The venue, The Dabbling Duck, is slightly bigger than the previous dates on the tour, and ticket sales had been promising. Our performance room was nothing short of stunning - a library area, that glorious smell of old books. Performance number 4 - and we were finally hitting our stride, the audience may have taken a couple minutes to fully warm to us (which can happen - people are often trying to work you out, trying to relax into it) but when they did - wow, how fantastic was that? A decent crowd, in a lovely setting. The generosity of Mark, the owner, was nothing short of amazing - it would be unprofessional of me to go into details here, but lets just say we were treated very well indeed. Is this what touring life is really like? Do people really get treated that well all the time? We ate well, we drank well, we caught up on sleep, Great Massingham - and in particular The Dabbling Duck and it's locals who we spent a while enjoying conversations with afterwards, was a bit of a treat. If I could do shows like this every day, I would...
The next day we were back home in Cambridge for two performances in the upstairs bit of CB2. I've never done a show upstairs at CB2 before, and if anything it felt a little strange at first - the audiences are right in your face. Both performances were really well attended, felt very busy considering the size of the room. I enjoyed them, but it's easy to do shows in front of your friends because you know they are going to laugh, the know you, they get you. Perhaps that's the reason why I didn't enjoy them as much though. The Cambridge crowd have seen this 'Paul Richards being awkward and bumbling about a bit on stage' routine a lot over the last few years, part of the joy of taking the show to other places is not knowing how the audience are going to react - it's the danger of it all. The Cambridge performances felt a little jaded at times, but there wasn't too much wrong with them - technically we were hitting all of the key moments quite nicely by now, the show felt comfortable enough, and I'm grateful to my many friends who made it over.
The next morning we were back on the road for the 2 very northern dates to conclude the tour. First one - Galashiels. We left in such good time (baring in mind the mistakes we made for Kingsbridge and Guildford) and arrived in the area fashionably two hours early - before getting lost and flustered actually finding the venue and somehow managing to lose an hour or so. The Moondogs Cafe was another show I had a couple worries about - because ticket sales were on 2 - both of them to my friend Alan Hay's mum and her partner. Craig the owner of the venue is a very likable chap who showed great enthusiasm about the show, and I think that's why we ended up with a bit of a crowd in the end, 10 or so people. It's a nice venue, very cosy, very friendly, and although at first I felt slightly uncomfortable about doing the show effectively in a shop window, it soon turned into one of the better performances of the tour - because, in Hind's words, 'they were just lovely to us' - they were, they laughed more than the average crowd, we even had to sign posters afterwards which is always good for the ego. I'd love to go back there again - suddenly it looks like the November tour will be quite similar to this one...
Stayed above a nightclub in Livingston. Livingston seems like quite a rough place, apologies to anyone reading this who lives there and I'm happy to be proved wrong, maybe the bit we stayed in wasn't the nice area or something. But still, got a Chinese takeaway and some beers and watched TV - yep, we know how to live on a Friday night! The whole point of staying in Livingston was because it prodded us slightly in the right direction ahead of the next day - The Isle Of Skye. This was always going to be a strange one that could have gone either way. On one hand, you're travelling up hundreds and hundreds of miles to do a show in a place where - to be blunt - I don't think there is much going on in the ways of entertainment. On the other hand, you're travelling hundreds and hundreds of miles to do a show in a bakery. Ah - but the thing is, The Isle Of Skye Baking Company is more than a bakery - it's a beautiful place, with an art gallery and everything. It really is worth the trip - the trip itself is also very enjoyable because of the spectacular views; you really are in the middle of nowhere, and it's an uplifting feeling. Liza, who runs the venue, was another one of those amazing people you meet on your travels who makes you feel so welcome - even down to the 'Welcome Paul Richards' writing on the door - I almost felt emotional. Great space, met a lovely couple called Steph and Jeremy who were actually from Cambridge but now living on the island - will definitely keep in touch with them as I enjoyed our chat, and a modest but friendly audience who, after a 5 minutes or so, seemed into it. In fact, it was one of those strange crowds; with the exception of a couple proper laugh-out-loud people, they were mostly a smiling audience - but also the kind of people who applaud and praise loudly at the end. Performance-wise Hind seemed to be buzzing about this one, but I'm not so sure - felt a bit underpar to me. But still, not bad at all. Left the venue with delicious goodie bags as a thank you (how lovely is that?), and then had the drive from hell back to the mainland. Warned of deer running out at you, I was already worried about the windily roads (with dips either side that could probably kill you) and heavy rain, 4 hours later we checked in at our friendly little B+B in Forte William. Tour done.
The 9 hour drive home was, as you can imagine, dull. But we were in good spirits - it had been an incredibly hard working week, but we'd met some fantastic people along the way - after every single show we found ourselves in conversations with complete strangers who were so enthused about what we were doing. What we are doing feels so very worthwhile - it's the first tour I've ever been on that hasn't made a loss - there really is something in being a kind of troubadour playwright. Hind Shubber deserves all the credit in the world for putting up with me - my annoying habit of asking if she's okay every time there's a silence (I hate silence), for navigating, filming the documentary, and for also being a bloody good actress. And yet amazingly, even on the way home, the conversation was still flowing...mostly about doing this all again, next month perhaps? We're onto something here, and we're too far in to leave it at that.
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