Creative explosion/losing my mind

I'm supposed to be writing today - I took two precious days of leave so I can lock myself in my room and write a masterpiece, or two. Forcing creativity is never a good idea though - as I'm starting to realise. An artist needs time to breathe, develop, nurture their work into something beautiful. I don't really have that - all of the Fringe deadlines are creeping up, I'm back to work tomorrow (with a stupidly busy weekend planned), and on Sunday night we have a read-through of all my new plays, trying to work out if any of them can make it to Edinburgh. To make matters worse, I keep getting interrupted when I work at home; my parents, bless them, are lovely, but I don't think they fully understand my needs - it's not much to ask, just stop talking to me for a couple hours. Saying that - yesterday wasn't a bad day on the creative front; I've finished a new short play, Drop Me With Dignity, which I really like. It's full of tension, and even a slight sense of political awareness. Saying that I had planned it to be a full-length piece that could have made it the key show for me this year - but it just didn't work out like that. Having three characters, trapped in a room, is all very good for drama, but after half an hour I would be bored. Maybe this is because a) the concept is more suited to a shorter play or b) I'm just not a good enough writer yet to sustain tense drama for an hour. Either way, it's written now, and works well as it does. But that does leave me with an awkward situation regarding Edinburgh - what the hell am I going to take up there just yet. Then, whilst playing Pro Evolution Soccer with my dad on the Playstation (distractions you see...), I had a brainwave. I worked on a play last year called 'The Man Who Loves His Car Far Too Much' - it was supposed to be a musical, co-written with my chum Martin (White). However, since he's got a busy job in Geneva now, the song aspect of it never got done, just the one track - the amazing 'When The Whole World (That's Everything) Goes Wrong'. But I'm still really pleased with the script, which was completed a while back, and the lyrics. I really want this show to go to Edinburgh - but a musical with one song isn't really a musical, even if it re-occurs three times, and lyrics for dialogue may become annoying for the audience. Or perhaps we could do it as chants? A comedy/musical/chant show? Or perhaps the actors could say the words as poetry, but Kate from Our Painted Nature can twinkle a couple notes on the piano vaguely in time with the words, so it would be a kind of lyrical/music crossover thing, without strictly being a song? If I can get over this sense of uncertainty, I think this could be a winning show as the plot is lovely. Suddenly my mind is getting excited - The Man Who Loves His Car Far Too Much - a lively, fast-paced comedy, with just 4 actors (playing 12 characters), small set, a song, some poetry, some bad engine jokes...and all in the tiniest venue possible. I think that's where the Christmas show really worked, because we were right in the audiences faces - I want to recapture this buzz for Edinburgh. Yes! I love it when a vague idea makes more sense - but there's still a lot of ifs and buts - I need to check with Martin that he's okay for us to use the song we co-wrote (he's a nice guy, shouldn't be a problem), I need to check with Kate that she's okay to twinkle on the piano, I need the cast to actually like the script. And then - as my other show for the fringe, I was thinking...every year I take a show up there and it's kind of always accidently marketed as a "gentle lunchtime comedy". Well - this year, how about an actual show called "gentle lunchtime comedy" - or even better - "lovely lunchtime theatre" - it'll be an hour of undemanding, but equally enjoyable theatrics that will ease you from your hangover and into the rest of your more demanding day. How about this: Lovely Lunchtime Theatre - two new plays from emerging playwright Paul Richards. Yep - I think that could work, two short plays (Drop Me With Dignity, and Breakers), both of which are tight and written, can have the same cast, hardly any props needed, perfect for midday theatre. But then a slight sense of realism kicks in; taking one show up to the festival every year is a lot of hard work sometimes, taking two - is that going to far? Fuck off, of course it's not! Tis the year to not have fear, etc. The only stumbling block is budgets; it can be done, if I have one cast for both shows. Ouch, I sense awkward silence when suggesting this. That's a lot of words - and a lot of acting. But you know, they're actors, they're at the Edinburgh Fringe, surely this is the perfect way for them to get noticed..."sorry, big producer/talent scout who could make me famous, you missed my show - but ah nevermind, come and see the other one instead". It all makes sense - up at 9am, flyering in the morning, perform at midday, quick break, a little more flyering, another show at 6pm, start getting drunk by 7pm - it's a challenge, and to do this 7-8-9 days in a row may be a bit much, but I want to do it. I'm going to put on a nice shirt on Sunday night and try to impress my team enough to do both plays, I'm asking a lot of people, I know, but that's the kind of guy I am. And then of course, there's the Brighton Fringe deadline, which is creeping up. Neither 'The Man Who Loves His Car...' or 'Lovely Lunchtime Theatre' would work up there, so I'm going to have to write a whole new show. I have a director interested - the brilliant Sarah Ingrim, and Victoria Welsh - incredibly good actress - likes Brighton, so I think she'd be up for doing a show there in May. The thing is, the show I want to write for Victoria is a one-woman show (with Sarah directing), I've been dabbling with a few ideas for a long time now. But it's a hell of a lot of words, especially just for one little Fringe festival which frankly is terribly attended. And Victoria is a huge part of my Edinburgh multi-show plans...hhhmmm, I'll work on the script today, and probably call her to discuss tomorrow. Right, I'm going to eat another Wispa, and get back to taking on the world.

Time...

If only I could think of a better title for this post than 'Time...' - and I think I'm a creative rascal? I frustrate myself sometimes. But it was a good weekend all the same, the creative juices are very much flowing, I just need time to nail a few ideas. But time is quickly running out - the deadline for the Brighton Fringe is the 9th February and I still have no idea what I'm taking up there yet, and Edinburgh no longer seems like it's miles away. FA Cup this weekend on the telly didn't help things either, but I'm taking a few days to wrap up a few plays this week. One idea - about a diabetic, has really turned out well, helped mostly by the fact I am sat next to one in the office which is handy for research etc. On Friday night I saw the amazing comedian Rhod Gilbert in Cambridge, Saturday afternoon myself and Alan 'Soundman' Morgan met up with 209radio and confirmed my new 10 episode series for them, Saturday evening started recording 'Petrolfingers' - our new comedy podcast, with Heather acting superbly throughout, Sunday played a gig with my old mucker James in Cambridge at the Cornerhouse. Creative weekend? Yep, so mustn't grumble, but it's hardly world domination, yet, although I reckon that's just around the corner, *rubs hands with excitement*

Minor doubts

It's 11.20pm in a dark bar on a side street in Chelmsford on a Sunday night. We're nearing the end of the set, but Brien Edwards, lead singer of The Lunar Pilots, is clearly having issues with his throat. We're playing tight, but the smiles and on stage enthusiasm has been watered down to false glances, as if as a team we're trying to hold it together in the midst of defeat. Is is a defeat? It's certainly not a victory. It's 11.20pm in a dark bar on a side street in Chelmsford on a Sunday night, we're playing to a handful of people all of whom have seen us before; I doubt they want to be here - they're friends of the band and couldn't possibly leave. They couldn't possibly leave because they'd be too exposed in doing so - considering the rest of the audience left when the fashionable other bands on the bill, our support acts, finish their sets. I feel old; I've not enjoyed anything musically tonight. I've got nothing personal against the 3 support acts, but I've seen enough Franz-Ferdinand-Libertines-Pale-Looking-Tight-Top-Prominent-Fringe-Occasional-Disco-Beat-Careless-Expression-Intentionally-Misguided-Vocals bands in my time, I just found myself forgetting to applaud. It's probably me, though. It's 11.20pm, in a dark bar on a side street in Chelmsford on a Sunday night. We're playing tight, the sound quality is exceptional. I'm going through the motions, I'm drifting through the required time signatures but my head is already planning the route home, wondering if our cab-driving neighbour has left me a space outside our own house, considering another Red Bull at the bar before I leave to give me that final kick home but releasing it would keep me awake until the early hours of the morning, trying to remember to set my alarm for 7am for work and then concerned with myself for thinking about all of this when I'm actually doing what I live for - playing live. The thrill of playing live beats anything else in life, if you've got the buzz of an audience it's better than sex, beer, football, classic late 70's sitcoms - there is nothing that can touch it. Which is why the let down of an audience who are only there out of manners is hard to accept. Brien is clearly struggling, but despite the fact his voice is shot to pieces he insists on playing the whole set - I respect this act of dignity, but my heart's just not in it. 2.15pm, lunch time at work. I'm left to reflect on a weekend in which my minor doubts are kicking in to the extent that I'm a frustrated, odd little character, not the most approachable in the office. On Friday we had a 'creative team meeting' in Cambridge where most of my new creative team joined me as I explained my plans for world domination. I arrived caffeined-up, with a notepad of ideas, some new scripts, and my diary. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Friday night - absolutely nothing. My team are lovely. But it just feels like I'm an enthusiastic, rambling ball of randomness, shouting out new play synopsis after new play synopsis, whilst the rest of the team merely sit and try to take it all in. I think it's going to work - we've scheduled filming for my short films 'Chirpy', 'Short Hair', 'Remembrance' and 'Number 12 And Her Amazing Revolution', people agree with me - but there was no high-fives, just polite agreement. Maybe I should learn to accept that not everybody is going to get as excited as I am, maybe they don't share my vision of domination...but that's cool, because they're exceptionally talented, they don't have to - let me do the jumping around, let them be the cool, collected actors who actually make it happen. Or perhaps I'm just creatively bullying them? Perhaps I'm so intense they feel they can't argue with me? I mean, does Heather really want to dress up as a budgie for her role in 'Chirpy'? Does Victoria really feel comfortable standing in a field with a load of sheep shouting 'baaahhh' for 'Number 12'? Surely, they would have said if there was a problem? Surely? I guess time will tell. I should also stop watching amazing films in the cinema (like 'Slumdog Millionaire' which I saw on Saturday) and listening to the original radio series of The Mighty Boosh whilst driving to work; all because it's all so good, I'm starting to lose the belief in my own material, all my work seems kind of vague, and...pathetic in comparison. Or maybe I'm just tired/fatigued/being over dramatic because self-doubt is often considered a sign of modesty, which has once or twice impressed women. I'm not sure anymore - but what I do know is I have a meeting on Saturday about my 209radio show which should finally see our series 'Becoming More Like Mandy' grace the FM airwaves, and that I really need to know what I'm taking to Edinburgh this year. There's no time for being insecure about my abilities (okay, just the time it took me to write this), I really should be cracking on. When my boss here comes back from lunch I'm going to ask her if I can take 3 days off work, and then with those days I'm going to write the best fucking play ever. It's all really simple when I put it like that...

It's the simple things that inspire the most

I start the new week with a twinge of optimism; hopefully if I get that arse in gear and have a few good writing sessions this week it'll be more than a twinge. But optimism all the same; little things are making me happy at the moment. The new Morrissey album is amazing - there's a line on the second track which has inspired me to work on a new play idea: Life Isn't Very Much To Lose, It's Just So Lonley Here Without You. The man is a god. Other things that have made me happy; Gytha's party on Friday night, which was random and brilliant, lovely people, great atmosphere, artiness all round, felt far more welcome there than I do down my 'local' every weekend. Also, the Our Painted Nature logo (see pic) as added to the band's Myspace page (www.myspace.com/ourpaintednature) - I can't help but smile at it, this sums up the project for me - bloody brilliant. Anyway, I'll stop talking about the optistic nature of my morning now and actually do something constructive with this frame of mind, time to crack on with the Edinburgh script.

2009 - let the surge begin

2009 has started brightly, I think. Lots of ideas, as always, but for once I'm actually finding the time to put them together, the next few weeks should be really interesting. Work-wise still no idea what the future holds, and with the current credit crunch really kicking in this may make most people in my position feel a little uncomfortable, but this is pretty much the kick up the arse that I need, I'm very much out of my comfort zone right now. New Year kicked off with a cracking party on New Years Eve in which the strictly one-off Paul Richards band somehow got through a set of songs we don't really know, as well as performances from two of my other bands - Losers and Our Painted Nature. All in all, good, drunken fun, never thought so much fun could be had in Houghton. But now down to the serious business of utter world domination. The gigs are coming in, although I need to get Our Painted Nature out there - I think we'd go down a storm at festivals, I shall get some emails going around tomorrow I think. Script wise I have these grand ideas of radio shows, podcasts, youtube films, theatre shows everywhere etc - but none of that will work without the right team on my side, so I've decided to put together a small-ish little team of arty types that I can call upon whenever I have an idea that needs putting into shape. I did this by writing a stupidly large, and explosively enthusiastic email to those whom I've worked with before that I know will be not only fun to work with, but also whom want to work with me. Amazingly, everybody has said yes, equally enthusiastically, which is just lovely and I'm confident now that I can put on a show anywhere, or film anything, knowing I have a great team with me. Those crazy rascals are by the way: Colin Woodham (actor, appeared in the Christmas show in the lead role), Heather Yeadon (actress, did the Christmas show and also our patchy Edinburgh Fringe 08 show), Vaughan Allanson (actor, did the Christmas show, and our patchy Edinburgh Fringe 07 show), Victoria Welsh (acclaimed actress locally, did the Christmas show and has also done bits and bobs of my work at WriteOn), Sarah Ingrim (director/actress, directed the Christmas show, and various other bits of my work at WriteOn), Alan Morgan (technical lights/sound genius, did the Christmas show and WriteOn stuff, as well as the 209 radio soap which I pulled out of a couple years back) and Gytha Lodge (director/actress, never worked with her before but spoken a lot and she seems to get it). And of course, they're all friends too - which helps a lot...writing wise a few opportunities have already crept in even though I've not been actively promoting my work so far this year (merely trying to write new material), with a London theatre group in constant contact about 2 of my pieces (An Ambulance Stuck In Traffic, and Love Awkwardly) with a few to performance soon, and also WriteOn keen to use my older piece 'The Healthy Option' in their forthcoming Directors Cut series, which is a nice start, but I'm planning a lot more...in the meantime just finished new play, Breakers, which I'm happy with but it's gone a lot darker that it was supposed to, and not right for Edinburgh Fringe, so I'd best get writing the Fringe show now then...2009 - less talk, Richards, more doing. Yep.