Gig report: Richard Conway @ The Boot, Histon

Band: Richard Conway (with myself on percussion and some chap called Nick on violin)
Venue: The Boot, Histon
Date: 13/04/10
Audience: Old and folky, but very friendly
Set: A couple of Richard's originals, and some nicely picked alternative covers
Notes: First gig with Rich, whom I've previously played with in Matt Corrall Band and The Damsons. It was basically a gig in a kitchen, the back room of the Boot is a strange location for a gig, but it worked on an intimate level. The audience were old folk music loving types, but despite my reservations regarding the choice of songs they seemed to be open to anything, from Frank Turner to rare Costello. It was a nice gig, I felt too knackered to appreciate it fully - but it was gentle, and each act was nicely introduced by the organiser which made it feel like we were playing a gig in his house in front of his friends and family. The whole room singing along rather boisterously to our version of 'Its The End Of The World' was a nice moment, we could have played tighter but then again we could have rehearsed more than one session, but I enjoyed it all the same.

Me, and my limited voices

Had my second rehearsal tonight for 'Cat Food' since I accidentally ended up playing what is probably the biggest part in it. I'm still terrified - I'm not an actor, end of, but I'm slightly more comfortable now that we've distinguished the different characters I'm playing a little more. For the local MP, Gregory, it's all very easy - the blurb I wrote for the role originally was simply 'lazy and smelly', both of which I have the ability to be on a regular basis, you could argue, but for the old man, Michael, our director Gytha seemed keen on a Cornish accent, especially so as Heather Yeadon - who plays the role of Esther (my 'wife' in the piece) does one really well. I can't do one - I tried, and whilst there was glimmers of it, the bits that weren't glimmers were shocking. So tonight, accepting defeat on my lack of cornishness, even though I was born in Somerset which isn't far off, we tried different voices for me in that character that didn't clash with the smooth-talking, lazy, arrogant Gregory character. I tried seedy, I tried manic Rigsby-esque, and then, as almost by default because I was getting frustrated, I just went and shouted the whole thing. It works, I'm going to shout - and just act really angry, and apparently that's comedy. With that covered, I just need to learn all the many lines by next Thursday's opening performance. I've never had to learn lines before, I have no idea where to start. But I have to - the show has to happen next week, there's no way out of this, we have a poster and everything (see above, it's a lovely design by Gytha's partner, Ollie). I just hope the audience are kind.

After that I drove over to Histon to rehearse with Rich Conway, whom I'm playing a gig with tomorrow night - Rich and his partner treated me well, with pizza and Red Bull, which is always the best recipe for a good performance. I'm looking forward to the gig with him tomorrow, a weird but arguably inspired choice of songs, any set that has 'Blue Chair' by Costello in it should be worthwhile.

Also got told today my play 'An Ambulance Stuck In Traffic' is being performed for 3 nights in a row in London (Waterloo, to be precise) by First Draft theatre company at the end of the month. I'm amazed how this play is still out there, I'm not even trying to promote it anymore, it just seems to be striking a chord or two with the right people. That particular chord being the one about stalking, and death, then.

Acting

Why, when I have so many actors seemingly very keen to be in my productions, do I find myself in this situation? The Brighton show, which now opens in Cambridge next week (a week later than originally planned), now has Paul Richards in what is probably the biggest male role. These are desperate times; I've got to 'become' an actor in the space of about 10 days, with funny accents and everything. Life has taken an awkward, potentially exciting, but potentially disastrous twist...

Panic.

Less than 8 days until the premiere and we've only gone and lost the leading actor. Bollocks. No actor can surely learn such a script in time for the first performance? Are there actually any actors out there anyway? It's been a real struggle finding a cast for the other Bury Fringe show and that's a month away (I've found three quarters of a cast eventually and am now having to re-write the scripts to work with less people), am really clueless as to what we can do now - this time next week the first performance of the play will be done, but who by? It feels like a really bad dream, and when I wake to realise it's actually reality I'm going to swear a hell of a lot.

Easter, Brighton and general disorganisation

Well that's the Easter break out of the way then, 4 days off work which alarmingly drifted by with much left to be done. My home Internet connection is working again which has been a huge bonus, I'm still not sure why it broke or how I fixed it - I came in on Thursday to find a power cut, and by the time I'd popped out to see the excellent Pappy's (formally Pappy's Fun Club) do their thing in Cambridge the power was back on and so was my wireless connection. Baffling, but nice all the same. Anyway, Easter was fun - on Friday morning I met up with good friends Richard and Kerry in Cambridge and we ended up in a music store in Peterborough where I picked up a beautiful set of congas - seriously, they're stunning, almost feel bad hitting them. In between 3 gigs in 3 nights (all detailed below - should have been 4 in 3 but Nathan from Eureka Stockade did his back in) I found the time to play football for the first time in years (and what a mess I was too - I'm so incredibly out of shape), finished writing the radio sitcom ('The Modest Adventures Of Patrick and Cameron') and today I attended the Brighton Fringe rehearsals - which are alarming for the fact that Gytha the director hasn't had the pleasure of having the whole cast in the room at the same time and the show opens next Thursday, but comforting in the fact that Gytha knows what she's doing and I can just stick to being the writer, which is always the safest place for me to be. I still need to get a cast for the other Bury St. Edmunds Fringe show though - I've left it late, I've got a great director in Jo Smythe, I just need to get her some actors to work with on this, this could be really bad if I don't sort it in the next few days...

In the meantime the world is seemingly full of opportunities, the continued offers to write for film, the fact that I currently drum in 7 bands, lovely social occasions on a regular basis, I'm happy enough - okay, so none of the 3 gigs I played this weekend were proper gooduns on any level, but if I can just get these fringe shows back on the right track everything will be marvelous.

Currently listening to: Joe Jackson - Rain, The Dawn Parade, bits of the new Eureka Stockade album which don't have vocals or bass on them yet

Currently reading: still on the Fawlty Towers book at the mo

Currently watching: The Worst Week Of My Life, Auf Wiedersehen Pet

Gig report: Jon Orchard And His Band @ The Carpenters Arms, Cambridge

Band: Jon Orchard And His Band (Jon, me and Neil Cowlan)
Venue: The Carpenters Arms, Cambridge
Date: 03/04/10
Audience: A bunch of scary looking men at the back who hated us and a couple OAP's at the front who couldn't get enough of us
Set: Loads, I think Jon just made it up as we went along
Notes: I spent my works' bonus on a lovely pair of congas (and also a football, because I'm still a kid at the end of the day) and I was really happy to be able to play them so soon - especially with Jon and Neil, as it suits the music. We played the first half to just the guys at the back who didn't want us there, and then the second half to those plus the old couple at the front who were so keen on what we were doing I found their post-gig praise flattering and it almost made it worthwhile. Basically, we played to barely anybody at all and it's remarkable we get paid what we do for this because they clearly didn't make that back at the bar. But we played really well tonight, the second gig as a trio and my third with Jon, and my first that really felt like it was working - I'm understanding the songs better now, and those congas sound remarkable, I could play them for hours. Oh yep - I did tonight actually, it was a long old gig. The Carpenters Arms remains one of the most scary and uncomfortable venues around here, but we need to get over that because we have a residency there.

Gig report: The Damsons @ The Man On The Moon, Cambridge

Band: The Damsons
Venue: The Man On The Moon, Cambridge
Date: 02/04/10
Audience: Young, squeaky, and slightly sarcastic
Set: Be True, Going Places, Goodnight Baby, In The Meantime, Show Me The Way, Million Day Dreams, Dark Outside
Notes: It would be wrong to say this was 'fucking awful', which is what I said backstage after the show (I like the fact the Man On The Moon has a backstage area by the way, although it's pretty much just a storage cupboard with a bench). We were supporting Kyan Kuatois, who everyone has been raving about recently. He's 21, the next big thing, and to be main support should have been a big deal to us, and I'm not ungrateful to Jordan for booking us. But when an artist is 21, the next big thing, and with a charm that young ladies go bizarre at comes an audience full of teenagers, many of whom just look in the lower reaches of teen-hood at that. It felt like there was hundreds of them, swarming around everywhere and making us feel old. The opening act, my old friend and former musical collaborator Alex Harris played his arse off and was practically ignored. We didn't play our arses off as such because we had some major sound issues and played almost hesitantly, and every time Christena (rightly) asked the audience if they were looking forward to seeing Kyan play she was greeted with screams which resembled a boyband gig. We didn't actually go down badly - every song was met with a decent amount of applause, and 'In The Meantime' was met with a really huge amount of appreciation - possibly because it's our best song, but more than likely sarcastic from an audience whom I never felt comfortable performing to. Kyan by the way was excellent, and a nice chap too, even he looked slightly bewildered by the whole thing.